As a child, I was a complete tomboy. My best friend was a boy who loved hockey, getting dirty, and riding bikes. This was the 90’s so we were able to run amok in our neighborhood with relative “safety”. We climbed trees, played hockey, rallied the neighborhood children for kickball, and caught all the little critters we could. To childhood me, boys were the coolest and got to do the coolest things. They got to run around with their shirt off when it was hot out. They could pee outside since they could do it standing up and didn’t need to wipe. They also were allowed to have short enough hair to get away with not combing it. I wanted to be just like the boys, because they had it good.
My parents were very neutral about my experimenting with “boy” traits. I got my hair cut short, wore what I’d now call gender-neutral clothing, and even tried peeing standing up for a while (not sure if my parents knew about that one.. – Sorry, Mom. I’m guessing there were messes). I distinctly remember an incident when my family went out to eat at a local diner. I decided to “dress up”, wearing black pants, a collared, long-sleeved shirt, and a blue button-up vest. I had my short hair slicked back and slightly parted to the side and I was looking good. While we were finishing our food, it was time to order ice cream. The waiter asked my mom, “And what would your son like?”, referring to me. My mom corrected him and he apologized. I told him it was OK and internally I was beaming with excitement. What an honor to be called a boy. After all, they were the coolest.
Continue reading “5 Ways to Actively Renounce Gender Norms In Your Household”
As I was adjusting to being a mother of 2, I found myself frustrated, anxious and feeling like something was missing. Of course, I had 2 beautiful, healthy children, a great husband, and supportive friends and family. Even during a pandemic, I still felt supported by friends and family. (Thank you social media, internet, and delivery services!) Yet still, I was feeling discontented. There’s nothing like that initial post partum period to send you reeling back to a person who gives and gives to others, leaving nothing for yourself. Especially when there are two needy littles. It seemed like my cup couldn’t ever get filled back up.
Finally I realized what was missing. I wasn’t making time for me. Face palm moment! When Patsy was a newborn, of course it makes sense that I wouldn’t have a whole lot of time for me. But now that she’s over a year old, it’s easier to think a little more clearly. I’m able to recognize what I’m needing. I am the type of person that needs a certain amount of time to themselves to get their energy. I just wasn’t getting that. I was going through the motions, taking care of what needed to get taken care of, and not investing in myself like I had begun to do on a regular basis over the past couple of years.
Continue reading “3 Reasons You Should Ask For What You Need”
To all the mothers, sisters, wives, single ladies, step-sisters, sister-in-laws, and female identifying beings. You are exactly who make the world go round. You are brave. You are fierce. Your intelligence knows no bounds. You are the silent leaders of this world and you deserve so much more. Know your worth and realize that you make an impact whether it’s recognized or not. Continue reading “An Open Letter To Women”
It can be easy to get stuck in a rut as a parent. Especially in early parenting when you feel like you’re drowning in toddler tantrums and stickiness EVERYWHERE. Seriously, why are they always so sticky? Anyways, I’ve found myself in a rut recently. I’m not inspired in my job. I have no motivation to pursue my goals and I feel like I’m just treading water. My child is so wonderful and I love him to pieces, but he’s also in a very needy stage and testing boundaries. The constant correcting and boundary establishment feels entirely draining. It’s all normal and appropriate to his development, but damn it’s exhausting! Continue reading “5 Tips To Get Out Of A Rut”
Mom guilt is a b*tch. There, I said it. I don’t know of a single mother that has not experienced mom guilt at some point or another. It can be consuming and overwhelming. I can’t even tell you how guilty I felt that I couldn’t breast feed my son past 4 months. I just couldn’t produce enough milk for him no matter what I did to try to improve that. I had to supplement with formula since he was a newborn because otherwise he would be underfed. I can recall more than one instance when I revealed that I supplemented with formula or had gone to formula-only feeding and got the side-eye from someone nearby. Some people would even start to list the reasons I should’ve kept with it and tried that 6th lactation consultant or that miracle supplement that would produce milk but compromise my health. On top of that, I was feeling like a failure because I couldn’t sustain my child naturally. Everything around me seemed to constantly remind me that “breast is best” and it was a very difficult time, to say the least. Like I said, mom guilt is a b*tch. Continue reading “How To Deal With Mom Guilt”
Social media has become one of the most prevalent parts of our society. We are addicted to it. We have to develop apps to force us to be off of it and actually enjoy our families from time to time. Social media is a great way to stay connected, but it can also be damaging to your feelings of success in your life. Have you ever noticed that people’s lives on social media seem so perfect? Everyone is getting married, having babies, climbing mountains, biking cross-country, running marathons, or starting businesses. Meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to have a clean house, get my work done, and keep my kid happy and healthy. It can certainly feel like everyone is living their best life except you. Continue reading “How To Avoid the Comparison Trap”
As a veterinary technician, I work in a field that is heavily dominated by women. While there are a fair amount of fellas around and more are venturing our way every day, it is still mostly women. I think this is really great. Women have the amazing ability to be strong and fierce, while also somehow being loving and caring. In the clinic that I work in, the owner is a male veterinary surgeon. Our other surgeon on staff is a powerful and accomplished female, though she’d be damned if she’d let you recognize her for that. The rest of the staff with the exception of 1 man are all female technicians or assistants. Every single person that works in our clinic is great at what they do. We are a cohesive unit, a well-oiled machine. We get the job done and we do it well every single day. Our patients feel the love and confidence in our abilities. We get compliments regularly from our peers and clients about our exceptional care and service. We are over here just doing the dang thing! Continue reading “Accept The Compliment”
Every single one of us have things that we have a hard time letting go. We have heartbreaks, betrayal, insecurities, and fears. Sometimes we can let things roll off our back. Other times, we have a harder time letting things go, especially when you had it planned all out in your head and it didn’t go that way at all. We get resentful when our spouse isn’t helping around the house or seems blind to the clutter in the living room. We feel hurt when our friends go out and forget to invite us. We have guilt when we are asked to do something and have to refuse because we are too tired, double-booked ourselves, or we feel we’ve disappointed someone. Continue reading “5 Tips To Help You Let Things Go”
Many of you may not know this about me, but I deal with anxiety on a regular basis. I have been able to control my anxiety at a good level for the most part with healthy habits and so far have not had a need to medicate for it. In the grand scheme of anxiety sufferers, I would say that I’m a mid to low-level anxiety sufferer. Recently, I had a terrible anxiety attack over something totally made up in my head. It’s a little embarrassing to share here, as I feel quite silly after the fact. However, I feel I should so anyone who deals with something similar can feel less alone. Continue reading “Anxiety is a B*tch”
I’m going to be real with you right now, it’s been a long week. I had to survive on 4 hours of sleep two nights in a row and boy did that just mess with me. I had to work late one night to train a new employee. Then, I was up late the next night doing preparations for Thanksgiving. Additionally, our washer suddenly became non-responsive and needs a new switchboard or control panel or something like that. But, it isn’t a part that you can just replace. Oh no. They don’t make them anymore. So you have to send it in and wait 8-10 days for them to fix it. To top it all off, my check engine light has been on in my car and despite two trips to the mechanic, it’s still on. Uff-dah! Continue reading “How to Maintain a Positive Outlook”