As a child, I was a complete tomboy. My best friend was a boy who loved hockey, getting dirty, and riding bikes. This was the 90’s so we were able to run amok in our neighborhood with relative “safety”. We climbed trees, played hockey, rallied the neighborhood children for kickball, and caught all the little critters we could. To childhood me, boys were the coolest and got to do the coolest things. They got to run around with their shirt off when it was hot out. They could pee outside since they could do it standing up and didn’t need to wipe. They also were allowed to have short enough hair to get away with not combing it. I wanted to be just like the boys, because they had it good.
My parents were very neutral about my experimenting with “boy” traits. I got my hair cut short, wore what I’d now call gender-neutral clothing, and even tried peeing standing up for a while (not sure if my parents knew about that one.. – Sorry, Mom. I’m guessing there were messes). I distinctly remember an incident when my family went out to eat at a local diner. I decided to “dress up”, wearing black pants, a collared, long-sleeved shirt, and a blue button-up vest. I had my short hair slicked back and slightly parted to the side and I was looking good. While we were finishing our food, it was time to order ice cream. The waiter asked my mom, “And what would your son like?”, referring to me. My mom corrected him and he apologized. I told him it was OK and internally I was beaming with excitement. What an honor to be called a boy. After all, they were the coolest.
Continue reading “5 Ways to Actively Renounce Gender Norms In Your Household”
If you’re anything like me, you love to procrastinate. The couch and Netflix calls your name and you willingly answer, putting off those chores or other tasks that need to get done, but don’t need to get done right this instant. Then, by the end of the week, you’re hustling to get caught up and wonder how you got so far behind. Personally, my mind likes to rationalize that chilling on the couch and watching Netflix when I get a free moment counts as self-care. I mean, it’s slightly true, but it also isn’t really helping me beyond getting to sit down and rest my body for a while. Especially being a month away from my due date, sitting or napping are high on the priority list because this momma is tired! Continue reading “3 Ways To Motivate Yourself To Get Stuff Done”
When I learned I was becoming a mom for the first time, I was fully prepared to lose myself to motherhood. Motherhood was something I always aspired to. That was a major life goal of mine. I was under the assumption that my full identity would be wrapped up in who I was as a parent. I would put all my dreams and goals on hold until my children were old enough to start being self-sufficient and then I’d figure out who I was as a person. As time went on, I was feeling stuck. I loved being a mother and wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, I wasn’t as fulfilled as I thought I would be. I went complete 50’s housewife there for a moment and boy am I glad we live in a day and age where that’s optional and not necessarily expected. I was still working part-time from home but felt I needed to handle all of the things because my husband obviously wasn’t capable. [Insert facepalm] It’s crazy what kinds of stories we make up about our situation, isn’t it? Continue reading “The Power of Personal Development”
I’ve taken a little hiatus over the past 4 months. I’m back now and hitting you hard with the heavy stuff. Thank you all for your patience and the space and grace to allow me to focus on other things for a while.
As many of you know, I had a miscarriage at the end of 2018. It was very difficult for me, as it is for any woman. I had never known how isolating it could be until I experienced it myself. Even with knowing so many others who went through it and having a caring husband who also felt pain around it, it is still a very lonely experience. However, I shared my story and hopefully helped ease some of the heartache that another woman has had involving a miscarriage. I was able to work through it and not let it stop me from trying again. Continue reading “Pregnancy After Miscarriage: All The Feels”
When you first become a parent, it can be hard to feel like you’re winning at this whole thing. No matter how much you prepare for this role, there will always be curve balls (or pee streams) thrown your way. There’s no way to be prepared for that first blowout diaper. It can be easy to get overwhelmed and feel like you’re flailing about in parenthood hoping for the best. But, I’d like to take a moment to highlight the positive things you gain after becoming a parent. Most of these skills come about as a necessity, but man they sure are valuable. Here they are: Continue reading “5 Skills You Acquire When You’re A Parent”
Mom guilt is a b*tch. There, I said it. I don’t know of a single mother that has not experienced mom guilt at some point or another. It can be consuming and overwhelming. I can’t even tell you how guilty I felt that I couldn’t breast feed my son past 4 months. I just couldn’t produce enough milk for him no matter what I did to try to improve that. I had to supplement with formula since he was a newborn because otherwise he would be underfed. I can recall more than one instance when I revealed that I supplemented with formula or had gone to formula-only feeding and got the side-eye from someone nearby. Some people would even start to list the reasons I should’ve kept with it and tried that 6th lactation consultant or that miracle supplement that would produce milk but compromise my health. On top of that, I was feeling like a failure because I couldn’t sustain my child naturally. Everything around me seemed to constantly remind me that “breast is best” and it was a very difficult time, to say the least. Like I said, mom guilt is a b*tch. Continue reading “How To Deal With Mom Guilt”
Social media has become one of the most prevalent parts of our society. We are addicted to it. We have to develop apps to force us to be off of it and actually enjoy our families from time to time. Social media is a great way to stay connected, but it can also be damaging to your feelings of success in your life. Have you ever noticed that people’s lives on social media seem so perfect? Everyone is getting married, having babies, climbing mountains, biking cross-country, running marathons, or starting businesses. Meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to have a clean house, get my work done, and keep my kid happy and healthy. It can certainly feel like everyone is living their best life except you. Continue reading “How To Avoid the Comparison Trap”
Perfectionism has its good qualities. Your work is always done very well. You have a great attention to detail and you always strive to do your best. Also, the people-pleasing aspect is great for those around us as we will always drop everything to help them or otherwise make them happy. If we aren’t careful though, perfectionism can really get in our ways sometimes. Completing tasks can become a longer process for a perfectionist because they get hung up on the minute details. Perfectionists also experience “analysis paralysis” when trying to make decisions during projects and often find themselves unable to do so for fear of it not being perfect. Perfectionism also hinders our enjoyment of the day to day. We over analyze things and have a difficult time letting things go, even if they do not matter in the long run. Perfectionists also often project their ridiculous expectations of themselves unto others making those around them unable to measure up. As you can imagine, this affects relationships and can leave a perfectionist feeling isolated or misunderstood. Continue reading “3 Ways Becoming A Parent Helped Me Deal With Perfectionism”
I’ll admit that this is a bit of a self-serving post. My family is going on a budgetary “diet” and making changes I order to pay off our debt and save up a lovely nest egg. So, I’ve been doing a TON of research on ways to save money and reduce costs. We’ve all heard of the traditional ways to save money like changing up your grocery shopping, meal planning, getting rid of cable, or downgrading your vehicle. While I’m re-evaluating all of those, I also wanted to dig a little deeper and find other creative ways to save money. Continue reading “7 Surprising Ways for Parents To Save Money”
If you’ve delved into any sort of personal development material, you probably already know that most of the influencers in this space stress the importance of your morning routine. If you want to be successful in your day, your job, your parenting, and your life, shaping a morning routine that supports that is vital. There are two main ways that people can start their day. Reactively or proactively. Continue reading “3 Things to Include In Your Morning Routine”