Recently while listening to Sara Dean on the Shameless Mom Academy podcast, she spoke about how women apologize unnecessarily. It got me thinking and I quickly realized that this was true in my own life. Ever since it was brought to my attention, I’ve noticed that I apologize for my mere existence several times daily. I don’t think I’m the only one either. I notice it in those around me too. I hear “I’m sorry, excuse me, I need to get over there to the tarter sauce, I’m so sorry.” at the grocery store. Or, I hear things like “I’m sorry but I just need to grab a drink of water.” at the water cooler. Why do we apologize for things like this? Why do we feel like our needs are so small and unimportant that we cannot just simply get the tarter sauce or the water without telling everyone we are so sorry for doing it? It’s truly a mystery.
I think it’s time that we stop saying sorry unless it’s truly warranted. We should stop apologizing for things that don’t require an apology. If you’re late to somewhere, instead of saying “I’m so sorry I’m late”, maybe we should say “Thanks so much for waiting for me.” When we apologize for something that doesn’t require an apology, we are belittling ourselves and our existence. This is not our intention, of course. We just don’t want to inconvenience anyone else. But, honestly, if someone is inconvenienced by your need for tarter sauce, that’s on them. That’s not to say we should be rude by any means. But, if we aren’t directly trying to be confrontational or disrespectful, there’s no need to apologize. You’re not doing anything wrong when you fill your needs or pursue your passions.
By discontinuing our unnecessary apologizing, we accomplish two things: We stop feeding our own subconscious mind messages of low self-worth, and we stop subconsciously influencing those around us to see us as “less than”. Own your actions. Give yourself the grace to misstep here and there. We are all humans and we all make mistakes. That’s part of the beauty of our very existence. Our mistakes are what make us human and there’s no reason to apologize for them as long as you haven’t directly hurt anyone. When you stop apologizing for things that don’t need an apology, you will feel a confidence and self-worth you’ve possibly never known before. If you suffer from perfectionism (discussed in my post here), you can actively battle your people-pleasing demons by making this simple change in your life. You can learn to stand in your power and have your needs met simply because that’s what helps keep your world turning. You deserve to have your needs met because everyone deserves that.
I’d be willing to bet if you really paid attention to the moments in your life when you apologize unnecessarily, you will be surprised at just how often the words “I’m sorry” come out of your mouth. I would love to hear your stories about what you unnecessarily apologized for recently. Please leave a comment below and tell me your story!
Much love and productive vibes,
Momma Caped Nerd ❤
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