Tag: self-care

Posted in advice, Family, women

Embracing The Chaos

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

Over the past several months, I’ve been mentally preparing for having two children.  I’ve seen the havoc that has descended upon a few of my friends’ households as they’ve welcomed a second child into their lives.  Those first few months are crazy-town! 

This is especially true when the existing child is still a toddler and still needs so much from their parents.  Newborn Land has it’s own sleep-deprived kind of crazy. Adding to that a toddler adjusting to HUGE changes and likely getting thrown off of their routine helps to propel the whole situation into straight up chaos.  Do you know what’s difficult for perfectionist-type personalities such as mine?  Chaos.

So, I’ve been in total preparation mode the last few days as the reality that my baby girl will be here within a few short weeks has been setting in.  Action alleviates anxiety right?  So, I’ve been getting all of her clothes washed and put away.  I’ve prepared the changing table and bassinet.  I’m constantly imagining every “what if” scenario my brain can muster – which is way too many, and part of why I’ve been up since 3:30 this morning. I’m trying to get everything in my home as prepared and “easy to access” as possible.  As I’ve been busying myself with these things, it’s occurred to me that maybe I’m overthinking all of this.  Many people have survived having two children, or more under age 3.  It’s going to be OK.

I will continue prepping my home and brain for the arrival of our second child.  However, I’m also learning to embrace the chaos in various situations.  Through working on my perfectionistic self and tendencies, I’ve learned that you can’t control everything and it’s exhausting to feel like you should.  So, I keep reminding myself to give myself space and grace to get through the things.  I know that this next season will be difficult, but it will also be magical.  My house will be a mess much of the time and my toddler is probably going to have some issues adjusting.  But, if I get all caught up in my need to control instead of just embracing what is, I’m going to miss all of the little magical moments that will also happen during this time.  I can get over not having a 100% clean home.  I can’t get over missing out on important moments, milestones, and the beauty of watching my children grow.

As I move through this time of embracing the chaos, I will remind myself of these three things:

1. I am strong, adaptable, and resilient

I have been through chaotic times before and made it through just fine.  I am actually quite good at adapting to a new situation and finding ways to make whatever kind of situation I end up in comfortable.  So, I know I can do hard things and make it through to the other side.  Everything is able to be figured out.  Every situation can be navigated.  If people can survive huge life traumas, I can survive this transition time in our lives.

2. Keep moving forward

As I’m navigating figuring out the new dynamics of my family life, I will remember to keep moving forward.

3. Be grateful

I will choose to see the blessings I have. I will take notice of the little things that I’m most grateful for beyond the obvious (like coffee!). I am blessed to have the family, health, love, support and comfort I have.

Bring it on chaos! I’m ready for you.

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Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Leadership

The Power of Personal Development

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

When I learned I was becoming a mom for the first time, I was fully prepared to lose myself to motherhood.  Motherhood was something I always aspired to.  That was a major life goal of mine.  I was under the assumption that my full identity would be wrapped up in who I was as a parent.  I would put all my dreams and goals on hold until my children were old enough to start being self-sufficient and then I’d figure out who I was as a person.  As time went on, I was feeling stuck.  I loved being a mother and wouldn’t trade it for anything.  However, I wasn’t as fulfilled as I thought I would be.  I went complete 50’s housewife there for a moment and boy am I glad we live in a day and age where that’s optional and not necessarily expected.  I was still working part-time from home but felt I needed to handle all of the things because my husband obviously wasn’t capable.  [Insert facepalm] It’s crazy what kinds of stories we make up about our situation, isn’t it? Continue reading “The Power of Personal Development” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Momentum

3 Ways Becoming A Parent Helped Me Deal With Perfectionism

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

Perfectionism has its good qualities.  Your work is always done very well.  You have a great attention to detail and you always strive to do your best.  Also, the people-pleasing aspect is great for those around us as we will always drop everything to help them or otherwise make them happy.  If we aren’t careful though, perfectionism can really get in our ways sometimes.  Completing tasks can become a longer process for a perfectionist because they get hung up on the minute details.  Perfectionists also experience “analysis paralysis” when trying to make decisions during projects and often find themselves unable to do so for fear of it not being perfect.  Perfectionism also hinders our enjoyment of the day to day.  We over analyze things and have a difficult time letting things go, even if they do not matter in the long run. Perfectionists also often project their ridiculous expectations of themselves unto others making those around them unable to measure up. As you can imagine, this affects relationships and can leave a perfectionist feeling isolated or misunderstood. Continue reading “3 Ways Becoming A Parent Helped Me Deal With Perfectionism” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, self worth

Accept The Compliment

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

As a veterinary technician, I work in a field that is heavily dominated by women.  While there are a fair amount of fellas around and more are venturing our way every day, it is still mostly women.  I think this is really great.  Women have the amazing ability to be strong and fierce, while also somehow being loving and caring.  In the clinic that I work in, the owner is a male veterinary surgeon.  Our other surgeon on staff is a powerful and accomplished female, though she’d be damned if she’d let you recognize her for that.  The rest of the staff with the exception of 1 man are all female technicians or assistants.  Every single person that works in our clinic is great at what they do.  We are a cohesive unit, a well-oiled machine.  We get the job done and we do it well every single day.  Our patients feel the love and confidence in our abilities. We get compliments regularly from our peers and clients about our exceptional care and service. We are over here just doing the dang thing! Continue reading “Accept The Compliment” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Momentum

3 Things to Include In Your Morning Routine

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

If you’ve delved into any sort of personal development material, you probably already know that most of the influencers in this space stress the importance of your morning routine.  If you want to be successful in your day, your job, your parenting, and your life, shaping a morning routine that supports that is vital.  There are two main ways that people can start their day.  Reactively or proactively. Continue reading “3 Things to Include In Your Morning Routine” →

Posted in Family, self worth

Anxiety is a B*tch

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

Many of you may not know this about me, but I deal with anxiety on a regular basis.  I have been able to control my anxiety at a good level for the most part with healthy habits and so far have not had a need to medicate for it.  In the grand scheme of anxiety sufferers, I would say that I’m a mid to low-level anxiety sufferer.  Recently, I had a terrible anxiety attack over something totally made up in my head.  It’s a little embarrassing to share here, as I feel quite silly after the fact.  However, I feel I should so anyone who deals with something similar can feel less alone.  Continue reading “Anxiety is a B*tch” →

Posted in Family

5 Tips for Starting a New Habit

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

When you want to change the way your days go, a change in habits is generally what’s needed to accomplish real change.  Habits are helpful in that they relieve a lot of the decision fatigue that can happen when you’re trying to develop a new way of doing things.  When something is a habit, it basically gets done on autopilot.  It doesn’t take a lot of mental effort and is automatic.  Continue reading “5 Tips for Starting a New Habit” →

Posted in Family, self worth

45 Self-Care Ideas

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

As I’ve mentioned in many of my posts, self-care is pivotal to maintaining your cool as a parent.  You need to take care of yourself because you are worth it.  Yes, your family’s needs are important, but so are yours.  You need to fuel yourself before you can help fuel others.  The beauty of self-care is that it doesn’t have to be extravagant or big.  It can be little things like enjoying a favorite beverage or sitting in the sun. Continue reading “45 Self-Care Ideas” →