Tag: planning

Posted in advice, Family, women

Embracing The Chaos

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

Over the past several months, I’ve been mentally preparing for having two children.  I’ve seen the havoc that has descended upon a few of my friends’ households as they’ve welcomed a second child into their lives.  Those first few months are crazy-town! 

This is especially true when the existing child is still a toddler and still needs so much from their parents.  Newborn Land has it’s own sleep-deprived kind of crazy. Adding to that a toddler adjusting to HUGE changes and likely getting thrown off of their routine helps to propel the whole situation into straight up chaos.  Do you know what’s difficult for perfectionist-type personalities such as mine?  Chaos.

So, I’ve been in total preparation mode the last few days as the reality that my baby girl will be here within a few short weeks has been setting in.  Action alleviates anxiety right?  So, I’ve been getting all of her clothes washed and put away.  I’ve prepared the changing table and bassinet.  I’m constantly imagining every “what if” scenario my brain can muster – which is way too many, and part of why I’ve been up since 3:30 this morning. I’m trying to get everything in my home as prepared and “easy to access” as possible.  As I’ve been busying myself with these things, it’s occurred to me that maybe I’m overthinking all of this.  Many people have survived having two children, or more under age 3.  It’s going to be OK.

I will continue prepping my home and brain for the arrival of our second child.  However, I’m also learning to embrace the chaos in various situations.  Through working on my perfectionistic self and tendencies, I’ve learned that you can’t control everything and it’s exhausting to feel like you should.  So, I keep reminding myself to give myself space and grace to get through the things.  I know that this next season will be difficult, but it will also be magical.  My house will be a mess much of the time and my toddler is probably going to have some issues adjusting.  But, if I get all caught up in my need to control instead of just embracing what is, I’m going to miss all of the little magical moments that will also happen during this time.  I can get over not having a 100% clean home.  I can’t get over missing out on important moments, milestones, and the beauty of watching my children grow.

As I move through this time of embracing the chaos, I will remind myself of these three things:

1. I am strong, adaptable, and resilient

I have been through chaotic times before and made it through just fine.  I am actually quite good at adapting to a new situation and finding ways to make whatever kind of situation I end up in comfortable.  So, I know I can do hard things and make it through to the other side.  Everything is able to be figured out.  Every situation can be navigated.  If people can survive huge life traumas, I can survive this transition time in our lives.

2. Keep moving forward

As I’m navigating figuring out the new dynamics of my family life, I will remember to keep moving forward.

3. Be grateful

I will choose to see the blessings I have. I will take notice of the little things that I’m most grateful for beyond the obvious (like coffee!). I am blessed to have the family, health, love, support and comfort I have.

Bring it on chaos! I’m ready for you.

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Posted in advice, Family, Goals

3 Ways To Motivate Yourself To Get Stuff Done

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

If you’re anything like me, you love to procrastinate.  The couch and Netflix calls your name and you willingly answer, putting off those chores or other tasks that need to get done, but don’t need to get done right this instant.  Then, by the end of the week, you’re hustling to get caught up and wonder how you got so far behind.  Personally, my mind likes to rationalize that chilling on the couch and watching Netflix when I get a free moment counts as self-care.  I mean, it’s slightly true, but it also isn’t really helping me beyond getting to sit down and rest my body for a while.  Especially being a month away from my due date, sitting or napping are high on the priority list because this momma is tired! Continue reading “3 Ways To Motivate Yourself To Get Stuff Done” →

Posted in Family, Leadership, self worth, women

An Open Letter To Women

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

To all the mothers, sisters, wives, single ladies, step-sisters, sister-in-laws, and female identifying beings. You are exactly who make the world go round.  You are brave. You are fierce.  Your intelligence knows no bounds.  You are the silent leaders of this world and you deserve so much more.  Know your worth and realize that you make an impact whether it’s recognized or not.  Continue reading “An Open Letter To Women” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Leadership

The Power of Personal Development

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

When I learned I was becoming a mom for the first time, I was fully prepared to lose myself to motherhood.  Motherhood was something I always aspired to.  That was a major life goal of mine.  I was under the assumption that my full identity would be wrapped up in who I was as a parent.  I would put all my dreams and goals on hold until my children were old enough to start being self-sufficient and then I’d figure out who I was as a person.  As time went on, I was feeling stuck.  I loved being a mother and wouldn’t trade it for anything.  However, I wasn’t as fulfilled as I thought I would be.  I went complete 50’s housewife there for a moment and boy am I glad we live in a day and age where that’s optional and not necessarily expected.  I was still working part-time from home but felt I needed to handle all of the things because my husband obviously wasn’t capable.  [Insert facepalm] It’s crazy what kinds of stories we make up about our situation, isn’t it? Continue reading “The Power of Personal Development” →

Posted in Family

Pregnancy After Miscarriage: All The Feels

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

I’ve taken a little hiatus over the past 4 months.  I’m back now and hitting you hard with the heavy stuff.  Thank you all for your patience and the space and grace to allow me to focus on other things for a while.

As many of you know, I had a miscarriage at the end of 2018.  It was very difficult for me, as it is for any woman.  I had never known how isolating it could be until I experienced it myself.  Even with knowing so many others who went through it and having a caring husband who also felt pain around it, it is still a very lonely experience.  However, I shared my story and hopefully helped ease some of the heartache that another woman has had involving a miscarriage.  I was able to work through it and not let it stop me from trying again. Continue reading “Pregnancy After Miscarriage: All The Feels” →

Posted in advice, Family

5 Things Every New Mom Should Know

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

When I look back on my early motherhood, I mostly remember that time fondly.  However, I also realize that there are many things that I know now that I wish I would’ve known then.  So, I thought maybe I should write a blog post about it in hopes of helping some new mothers out there who may be frantically searching for any and all advice they can get like I was as a new mom.  I just didn’t want to mess anything up.  I am responsible for a human life now and that is a responsibility that I do NOT take lightly.  There were definitely beliefs that I had that I held onto for too long and it took away some of my joy in that first month of my son’s life.  Hopefully, I can help prevent that for others. Continue reading “5 Things Every New Mom Should Know” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, self worth

How To Avoid the Comparison Trap

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

Social media has become one of the most prevalent parts of our society.  We are addicted to it.  We have to develop apps to force us to be off of it and actually enjoy our families from time to time.  Social media is a great way to stay connected, but it can also be damaging to your feelings of success in your life.  Have you ever noticed that people’s lives on social media seem so perfect?  Everyone is getting married, having babies, climbing mountains, biking cross-country, running marathons, or starting businesses.  Meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to have a clean house, get my work done, and keep my kid happy and healthy.  It can certainly feel like everyone is living their best life except you. Continue reading “How To Avoid the Comparison Trap” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Momentum

3 Ways Becoming A Parent Helped Me Deal With Perfectionism

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

Perfectionism has its good qualities.  Your work is always done very well.  You have a great attention to detail and you always strive to do your best.  Also, the people-pleasing aspect is great for those around us as we will always drop everything to help them or otherwise make them happy.  If we aren’t careful though, perfectionism can really get in our ways sometimes.  Completing tasks can become a longer process for a perfectionist because they get hung up on the minute details.  Perfectionists also experience “analysis paralysis” when trying to make decisions during projects and often find themselves unable to do so for fear of it not being perfect.  Perfectionism also hinders our enjoyment of the day to day.  We over analyze things and have a difficult time letting things go, even if they do not matter in the long run. Perfectionists also often project their ridiculous expectations of themselves unto others making those around them unable to measure up. As you can imagine, this affects relationships and can leave a perfectionist feeling isolated or misunderstood. Continue reading “3 Ways Becoming A Parent Helped Me Deal With Perfectionism” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals

7 Surprising Ways for Parents To Save Money

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

I’ll admit that this is a bit of a self-serving post. My family is going on a budgetary “diet” and making changes I order to pay off our debt and save up a lovely nest egg.  So, I’ve been doing a TON of research on ways to save money and reduce costs.  We’ve all heard of the traditional ways to save money like changing up your grocery shopping, meal planning, getting rid of cable, or downgrading your vehicle.  While I’m re-evaluating all of those, I also wanted to dig a little deeper and find other creative ways to save money. Continue reading “7 Surprising Ways for Parents To Save Money” →

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Momentum

5 Things To Do When Life Is Overwhelming

Posted on by CapedNerdMomma

In an age of information, personal growth, and an overwhelming amount of people telling you what you should and shouldn’t be doing, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.  Everyone has their opinions and most people are not afraid to voice them to you or anyone else.  Generally, they are unconcerned or just careless about who their opinions affect.  They don’t take into consideration the situations of others when making blanket statements such as “I think everyone should use organic, eco-friendly diapers.  It’s just irresponsible to use anything else.”  Meanwhile, the widowed mother of two who has to lean on state assistance to get by, starts to feel like crap because though she would love to save the environment, she simply can’t afford those diapers that are twice the cost of regular ones. Continue reading “5 Things To Do When Life Is Overwhelming” →