Over the past several months, I’ve been mentally preparing for having two children. I’ve seen the havoc that has descended upon a few of my friends’ households as they’ve welcomed a second child into their lives. Those first few months are crazy-town!
This is especially true when the existing child is still a toddler and still needs so much from their parents. Newborn Land has it’s own sleep-deprived kind of crazy. Adding to that a toddler adjusting to HUGE changes and likely getting thrown off of their routine helps to propel the whole situation into straight up chaos. Do you know what’s difficult for perfectionist-type personalities such as mine? Chaos.
So, I’ve been in total preparation mode the last few days as the reality that my baby girl will be here within a few short weeks has been setting in. Action alleviates anxiety right? So, I’ve been getting all of her clothes washed and put away. I’ve prepared the changing table and bassinet. I’m constantly imagining every “what if” scenario my brain can muster – which is way too many, and part of why I’ve been up since 3:30 this morning. I’m trying to get everything in my home as prepared and “easy to access” as possible. As I’ve been busying myself with these things, it’s occurred to me that maybe I’m overthinking all of this. Many people have survived having two children, or more under age 3. It’s going to be OK.
I will continue prepping my home and brain for the arrival of our second child. However, I’m also learning to embrace the chaos in various situations. Through working on my perfectionistic self and tendencies, I’ve learned that you can’t control everything and it’s exhausting to feel like you should. So, I keep reminding myself to give myself space and grace to get through the things. I know that this next season will be difficult, but it will also be magical. My house will be a mess much of the time and my toddler is probably going to have some issues adjusting. But, if I get all caught up in my need to control instead of just embracing what is, I’m going to miss all of the little magical moments that will also happen during this time. I can get over not having a 100% clean home. I can’t get over missing out on important moments, milestones, and the beauty of watching my children grow.
As I move through this time of embracing the chaos, I will remind myself of these three things:
1. I am strong, adaptable, and resilient
I have been through chaotic times before and made it through just fine. I am actually quite good at adapting to a new situation and finding ways to make whatever kind of situation I end up in comfortable. So, I know I can do hard things and make it through to the other side. Everything is able to be figured out. Every situation can be navigated. If people can survive huge life traumas, I can survive this transition time in our lives.
2. Keep moving forward
As I’m navigating figuring out the new dynamics of my family life, I will remember to keep moving forward.
3. Be grateful
I will choose to see the blessings I have. I will take notice of the little things that I’m most grateful for beyond the obvious (like coffee!). I am blessed to have the family, health, love, support and comfort I have.
Bring it on chaos! I’m ready for you.