Posted in advice, Family, Gender, Leadership, self worth

5 Ways to Actively Renounce Gender Norms In Your Household

As a child, I was a complete tomboy. My best friend was a boy who loved hockey, getting dirty, and riding bikes. This was the 90’s so we were able to run amok in our neighborhood with relative “safety”. We climbed trees, played hockey, rallied the neighborhood children for kickball, and caught all the little critters we could. To childhood me, boys were the coolest and got to do the coolest things. They got to run around with their shirt off when it was hot out. They could pee outside since they could do it standing up and didn’t need to wipe. They also were allowed to have short enough hair to get away with not combing it. I wanted to be just like the boys, because they had it good.

My parents were very neutral about my experimenting with “boy” traits. I got my hair cut short, wore what I’d now call gender-neutral clothing, and even tried peeing standing up for a while (not sure if my parents knew about that one.. – Sorry, Mom. I’m guessing there were messes). I distinctly remember an incident when my family went out to eat at a local diner. I decided to “dress up”, wearing black pants, a collared, long-sleeved shirt, and a blue button-up vest. I had my short hair slicked back and slightly parted to the side and I was looking good. While we were finishing our food, it was time to order ice cream. The waiter asked my mom, “And what would your son like?”, referring to me. My mom corrected him and he apologized. I told him it was OK and internally I was beaming with excitement. What an honor to be called a boy. After all, they were the coolest.

Continue reading “5 Ways to Actively Renounce Gender Norms In Your Household”
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Posted in advice, Family, Leadership, self worth, women

3 Reasons You Should Ask For What You Need

As I was adjusting to being a mother of 2, I found myself frustrated, anxious and feeling like something was missing. Of course, I had 2 beautiful, healthy children, a great husband, and supportive friends and family. Even during a pandemic, I still felt supported by friends and family. (Thank you social media, internet, and delivery services!) Yet still, I was feeling discontented. There’s nothing like that initial post partum period to send you reeling back to a person who gives and gives to others, leaving nothing for yourself. Especially when there are two needy littles. It seemed like my cup couldn’t ever get filled back up.

Finally I realized what was missing. I wasn’t making time for me. Face palm moment! When Patsy was a newborn, of course it makes sense that I wouldn’t have a whole lot of time for me. But now that she’s over a year old, it’s easier to think a little more clearly. I’m able to recognize what I’m needing. I am the type of person that needs a certain amount of time to themselves to get their energy. I just wasn’t getting that. I was going through the motions, taking care of what needed to get taken care of, and not investing in myself like I had begun to do on a regular basis over the past couple of years.

Continue reading “3 Reasons You Should Ask For What You Need”
Posted in advice, Family, women

Embracing The Chaos

Over the past several months, I’ve been mentally preparing for having two children.  I’ve seen the havoc that has descended upon a few of my friends’ households as they’ve welcomed a second child into their lives.  Those first few months are crazy-town! 


This is especially true when the existing child is still a toddler and still needs so much from their parents.  Newborn Land has it’s own sleep-deprived kind of crazy. Adding to that a toddler adjusting to HUGE changes and likely getting thrown off of their routine helps to propel the whole situation into straight up chaos.  Do you know what’s difficult for perfectionist-type personalities such as mine?  Chaos.

So, I’ve been in total preparation mode the last few days as the reality that my baby girl will be here within a few short weeks has been setting in.  Action alleviates anxiety right?  So, I’ve been getting all of her clothes washed and put away.  I’ve prepared the changing table and bassinet.  I’m constantly imagining every “what if” scenario my brain can muster – which is way too many, and part of why I’ve been up since 3:30 this morning. I’m trying to get everything in my home as prepared and “easy to access” as possible.  As I’ve been busying myself with these things, it’s occurred to me that maybe I’m overthinking all of this.  Many people have survived having two children, or more under age 3.  It’s going to be OK.

I will continue prepping my home and brain for the arrival of our second child.  However, I’m also learning to embrace the chaos in various situations.  Through working on my perfectionistic self and tendencies, I’ve learned that you can’t control everything and it’s exhausting to feel like you should.  So, I keep reminding myself to give myself space and grace to get through the things.  I know that this next season will be difficult, but it will also be magical.  My house will be a mess much of the time and my toddler is probably going to have some issues adjusting.  But, if I get all caught up in my need to control instead of just embracing what is, I’m going to miss all of the little magical moments that will also happen during this time.  I can get over not having a 100% clean home.  I can’t get over missing out on important moments, milestones, and the beauty of watching my children grow.

As I move through this time of embracing the chaos, I will remind myself of these three things:

1. I am strong, adaptable, and resilient

I have been through chaotic times before and made it through just fine.  I am actually quite good at adapting to a new situation and finding ways to make whatever kind of situation I end up in comfortable.  So, I know I can do hard things and make it through to the other side.  Everything is able to be figured out.  Every situation can be navigated.  If people can survive huge life traumas, I can survive this transition time in our lives.

2. Keep moving forward

As I’m navigating figuring out the new dynamics of my family life, I will remember to keep moving forward.

3. Be grateful

I will choose to see the blessings I have. I will take notice of the little things that I’m most grateful for beyond the obvious (like coffee!). I am blessed to have the family, health, love, support and comfort I have.

Bring it on chaos! I’m ready for you.

Posted in advice, Family, Goals

3 Ways To Motivate Yourself To Get Stuff Done

If you’re anything like me, you love to procrastinate.  The couch and Netflix calls your name and you willingly answer, putting off those chores or other tasks that need to get done, but don’t need to get done right this instant.  Then, by the end of the week, you’re hustling to get caught up and wonder how you got so far behind.  Personally, my mind likes to rationalize that chilling on the couch and watching Netflix when I get a free moment counts as self-care.  I mean, it’s slightly true, but it also isn’t really helping me beyond getting to sit down and rest my body for a while.  Especially being a month away from my due date, sitting or napping are high on the priority list because this momma is tired! Continue reading “3 Ways To Motivate Yourself To Get Stuff Done”

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Leadership

The Power of Personal Development

When I learned I was becoming a mom for the first time, I was fully prepared to lose myself to motherhood.  Motherhood was something I always aspired to.  That was a major life goal of mine.  I was under the assumption that my full identity would be wrapped up in who I was as a parent.  I would put all my dreams and goals on hold until my children were old enough to start being self-sufficient and then I’d figure out who I was as a person.  As time went on, I was feeling stuck.  I loved being a mother and wouldn’t trade it for anything.  However, I wasn’t as fulfilled as I thought I would be.  I went complete 50’s housewife there for a moment and boy am I glad we live in a day and age where that’s optional and not necessarily expected.  I was still working part-time from home but felt I needed to handle all of the things because my husband obviously wasn’t capable.  [Insert facepalm] It’s crazy what kinds of stories we make up about our situation, isn’t it? Continue reading “The Power of Personal Development”

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, self worth

5 Tips To Get Out Of A Rut

It can be easy to get stuck in a rut as a parent.  Especially in early parenting when you feel like you’re drowning in toddler tantrums and stickiness EVERYWHERE.  Seriously, why are they always so sticky?  Anyways, I’ve found myself in a rut recently.  I’m not inspired in my job.  I have no motivation to pursue my goals and I feel like I’m just treading water.  My child is so wonderful and I love him to pieces, but he’s also in a very needy stage and testing boundaries.  The constant correcting and boundary establishment feels entirely draining.  It’s all normal and appropriate to his development, but damn it’s exhausting! Continue reading “5 Tips To Get Out Of A Rut”

Posted in advice, Family

5 Things Every New Mom Should Know

When I look back on my early motherhood, I mostly remember that time fondly.  However, I also realize that there are many things that I know now that I wish I would’ve known then.  So, I thought maybe I should write a blog post about it in hopes of helping some new mothers out there who may be frantically searching for any and all advice they can get like I was as a new mom.  I just didn’t want to mess anything up.  I am responsible for a human life now and that is a responsibility that I do NOT take lightly.  There were definitely beliefs that I had that I held onto for too long and it took away some of my joy in that first month of my son’s life.  Hopefully, I can help prevent that for others. Continue reading “5 Things Every New Mom Should Know”

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, self worth

How To Avoid the Comparison Trap

Social media has become one of the most prevalent parts of our society.  We are addicted to it.  We have to develop apps to force us to be off of it and actually enjoy our families from time to time.  Social media is a great way to stay connected, but it can also be damaging to your feelings of success in your life.  Have you ever noticed that people’s lives on social media seem so perfect?  Everyone is getting married, having babies, climbing mountains, biking cross-country, running marathons, or starting businesses.  Meanwhile, I’m over here just trying to have a clean house, get my work done, and keep my kid happy and healthy.  It can certainly feel like everyone is living their best life except you. Continue reading “How To Avoid the Comparison Trap”

Posted in advice, Family, Goals, Momentum

3 Ways Becoming A Parent Helped Me Deal With Perfectionism

Perfectionism has its good qualities.  Your work is always done very well.  You have a great attention to detail and you always strive to do your best.  Also, the people-pleasing aspect is great for those around us as we will always drop everything to help them or otherwise make them happy.  If we aren’t careful though, perfectionism can really get in our ways sometimes.  Completing tasks can become a longer process for a perfectionist because they get hung up on the minute details.  Perfectionists also experience “analysis paralysis” when trying to make decisions during projects and often find themselves unable to do so for fear of it not being perfect.  Perfectionism also hinders our enjoyment of the day to day.  We over analyze things and have a difficult time letting things go, even if they do not matter in the long run. Perfectionists also often project their ridiculous expectations of themselves unto others making those around them unable to measure up. As you can imagine, this affects relationships and can leave a perfectionist feeling isolated or misunderstood. Continue reading “3 Ways Becoming A Parent Helped Me Deal With Perfectionism”

Posted in advice, Family, Goals

7 Surprising Ways for Parents To Save Money

I’ll admit that this is a bit of a self-serving post. My family is going on a budgetary “diet” and making changes I order to pay off our debt and save up a lovely nest egg.  So, I’ve been doing a TON of research on ways to save money and reduce costs.  We’ve all heard of the traditional ways to save money like changing up your grocery shopping, meal planning, getting rid of cable, or downgrading your vehicle.  While I’m re-evaluating all of those, I also wanted to dig a little deeper and find other creative ways to save money. Continue reading “7 Surprising Ways for Parents To Save Money”